Moo Cow
That’s what I used to call cows when I would see one when I was little. My sister likes to remind me of this because she thinks it’s funny. “Look, there’s a moo cow!” And now, I FEEL like a moo cow…
Breastfeeding….I’m about to get real…I have developed a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. I have never thought twice about my decision to breastfeed my baby because of all the benefits it has not only for the baby but for me. It was never even a question of to do or not to do. I was pleasantly surprised when Emersyn latched on right away and immediately we were nursing and bonded. It’s so neat how women’s bodies were designed to feed their babies and how babies automatically have that instinct to nurse. It’s mind blowing really when I think about it sometimes.
Everyone always talks about the good things… “Oh it’s the most wonderful thing ever” blah blah blah…. don’t get me wrong, it definitely has it’s wonderful moments, but you are straight up lying if you think it’s all roses 100% of the time. The big thing that threw me for a loop was the engorgement when my milk first came in. I was NOT expecting how that would be. It was great because I knew Emersyn was getting plenty to eat but at the same time it was definately not pleasant. I looked in the mirror and thought OK this is probably what my boobs would look like if I ever got implants…super full and firm. I made a mental note of how they looked, ya know just in case I get saggy later and need a boost 😉 I took many hot baths immersing myself under the water and that helped a lot and eventually I got through the initial engorgement stage. I still do the hot baths and hot showers too (when I can). Most of the time I set Emersyn in her vibrating chair in the bathroom and she’s content to hear the sounds of the running water and the jets.
Babies eat ALL the time, like a million times a day…ok maybe like 12 times but it seems like a million. That’s why I feel like most of the time I feel like a moo cow…a milk machine. We nurse, change diaper, play or sleep and repeat all day everyday. She eats every 2-3 hrs sometimes every hour if she’s having a growth spurt. I’ve learned to have my phone, Netflix or books handy. And with that much nursing comes a bit of aching or pain which I’m constantly managing with ibuprofen, heat, cold compress, nipple creams, etc. And then there’s the leaking….oh the leaking….
I can see how so many women give up and go to formula. Breastfeeding is HARD. You are on call 24/7 and YOU are the one that has to wake up with her multiple times a night. BUT it is also extremely rewarding at the same time and I LOVE the bonding I have with my baby while nursing. I don’t always feel like that (especially at 3 in the morning!) but breastfeeding is so much more than feeding her…its also about comforting her. I know that after a bath when she gets cold and wants to be held close to get warm that I put her skin to skin on me and nurse her and she is comforted. I know that when she is crying and feels lonely that nursing comforts her. I know that when she is sleepy sometimes she just wants that comfort of nursing to fall asleep. Nobody else in the world can do that for her but me, her mother. It makes me feel important and needed and I love knowing that I can provide nourishment and comfort for her….that is my LOVE relationship that I have with breastfeeding.
How long I will stick it out with nursing, I don’t know. But I know it will just get easier and that gives me encouragement I need to keep going. And in the meantime when we are passing by them, I will say, “Look Em, there’s a moo cow!”
xoxo,
Lesley
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