Friends and Family,
I’m excited to share with you all about the birth of Emersyn! I’m FINALLY getting to sit down and write this, and hoping all the while that Em will stay asleep. Right now she is in the Rock N Play next to me and is fighting sleep, though I know she is tired. Today she is just shy of being 3 weeks old and my what a journey it has been these last weeks. I will write more on that later, including topics such as breastfeeding, registry items, her nursery, etc. But for now I’m going to just focus on her birthday.
I was hesitant at first to write about her birth story. As most of you know I’m pretty active on social media and I put myself out there and when you do that you always get feedback and lots of comments and advice, wanted or unwanted. It comes with the territory I suppose. So I almost didn’t write this because I really don’t feel like being judged by our decisions, but I decided I wouldn’t not write about what I wanted to write about. After all, it is our life, our decisions, and our baby. And looking back I don’t regret it one bit.
My due date was Tuesday, March 1st. I was convinced that I would have Lil Bear early for some reason but that didn’t happen. She was measuring pretty big in her ultrasounds so my doctor had suggestion being induced in week 39 to reduce my chances of having to have a C-section. My husband and I decided we would at least wait till the 40 week mark and her due date before deciding to induce. I kept hoping she would just come naturally because I wanted the excitement of it all. But alas no contractions. My cervix was getting there but no contractions. At least so I thought. On Tuesday, March 1st (due date) we went into our doctor appointment and I knew she was going to ask me to make the decision about inducing. Jake and I agreed that we would induce that week, we were ready and we knew that baby was full-term and she assured us it was completely fine to induce. I wasn’t, however expecting to be induced the very next morning however! Turns out it was the only day MY doctor was on call and could do it so….Wednesday, March 2nd it was! I wanted my doctor to be able to deliver our baby, it was important to me. I made the decision to only tell immediate family that I was being induced so we could keep it private. I didn’t even get on the Internet to look up anything, I didn’t want to second guess our decision. We spent the rest of that day just making sure everything was ready and that night we went out to dinner and to see a movie (We saw the Revenant). After all it might be our last chance for awhile just the 2 of us. I started having some cramping in the movie theater that night and was pretty uncomfortable. I thought for sure neither my husband or I would be able to sleep that night in anticipation, but surprisingly we both slept well!
I woke up about 5:30am and took a shower and put the rest of the stuff in my bags to get ready to head to the hospital. It was a little surreal. We took our last preggo pic in the kitchen. I couldn’t eat or drink anything past midnight that night before so I had to skip breakfast which killed me (you know how I love my coffee and breakfast!) We arrived to the hospital just before 7am and checked right in. We were at St. Lukes on Barry Road in the new maternity wing. The nurse I had I immediately liked, her name was Jennifer, she was around my age if I had to guess. I’m so thankful I had a great nurse because they are the ones who spend the majority of the time with you, not the doctor. She had me immediately change into a hospital gown and had me hooked up to a fetal monitor to monior the baby and another one to monitor contractions. She gave me a catheter and an IV and I was hooked up and ready to go so quick! She asked me if I could feel my contractions….ummm I didn’t realize I was even having any! So I WAS having contractions after all, I just couldn’t feel them! She checked my cervix which was at a 4 and started me on Pitocin.
My mom and step-dad showed up shortly after that. We had a good size room with a tv and I knew it may take all day so they came to spend time with us while we were going through the motions. After about an hour maybe 2 of the Pitocin I started to feel my contractions. My doctor came in around 10 and broke my water. For some reason I expected that to hurt, but it didn’t, it just felt like I peed my pants. I didn’t quite enjoy that part of it, you are just laying in a bed leaking fluids…. But by 11am I was given my epidural and I didn’t feel nor care anymore.
Now about the epidural…I think this was the worst part of it all. Not the actual epidural itself but the shot in the back to numb the area… Since I have a fairly large tattoo on my lower back the anesthesiaoligist told me he couldn’t go through the ink so he had to find a spot to do it which ended up being in the body of the fairy since there was no ink there. I’m not sure if that made any difference or not, but I doubt it. I mean how are you really suppose to lean way over and sit perfectly still while getting a needle in your lower back?! I jumped a few times so they had to hold me down a bit and the nurse asked my husband if he was ok because he got a bit pale. But after that numbing shot the rest was a breeze. You feel the coolness circulating through your back which is really bizarre. They had me turn to my side and every hour or so I would switch sides. Pretty soon I was feeling no contractions whatsoever. I knew it would potentially be a long day so I brought Skip-Bo which is a favorite game for Jake and I to play together at home. I also brought a couple of movies, Save the Last Dance and Walk the Line. So really the rest of my day I spent playing cards with Jake and my mom and watching movies passing time while being checked every hour or so.
It took me awhile to progress to a 6 but once I did things moved fast! I started to feel my contractions a bit and got to press my button on my epidural for more a time or 2. So in the end I still felt my contractions but not nearly as much as I would have without an epidural. About 4:20 or so the nurse asked everyone to leave (except my husband of course) because it was go time! At first it was just the nurse with me having me push. Once a contraction started she had me push for a count to 10, then 2 more times just like that immediately following. Pushing itself wasn’t super hard it was the fact that I had to do it 3 times in a row to count to 10 because it is just exhausting! I actually had to ask her a few times if I was pushing hard enough because it was hard to tell with my epidural. When she could see the head I asked for a mirror. I hadn’t planned on doing that but I just couldn’t resist. I was expecting a little hand mirror but to my surprise she wheeled in this gigantic tall mirror and I looked for a few seconds long enough to see the top of her head and then I was good. I was surprised that Jake was watching it all, but I’m glad he did. I think he surprised himself too!
After she saw the head she called in my doctor and another nurse or 2. It is true what they say, you stop caring about who is in there and who sees what! I thought I would be so paranoid about that but you really don’t even notice, really! They were so calm and collected and it was just like any other day to them. There was even a nurse or 2 coming in and out to ask my doctor questions and I couldn’t have cared less. My doctor and nurses were so great, counting with me, encouraging me and cheering me on while I was pushing. My husband was holding one of my legs and I was holding one of his hands squeezing the life out of it I imagine. He did a great job of keeping me calm. I pushed for a little under 45 minutes and Lil Bear came into the world crying and shaking like crazy at 5:11 pm. They all told me what a great job I did and that me being physically fit really helped my delivery! My doctor said “you might be returning all your newborn clothes”! They told me she was a big girl. I couldn’t really feel her head come out but I could feel the moment she was completely out as it felt like such a huge relief! Jake got to cut the umbilical cord and he also got a few great videos which we will cherish forever. They immediately handed her to me and put her on my chest while they were wiping her off and such. Another thing I thought would be gross… but I could’ve cared less, I welcomed her with open arms and just couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She was finally here. All those months of carrying her, wondering what she was going to look like, how big she was going to be…it was finally here. They put her on my chest and I immediately fell in love with her as she was crying her little eyes out and shaking. I immediately noticed how much hair she had and how she did indeed have Jake’s nose and I just loved her chubby cheeks.
Earlier that day we had all taken our guesses at how much she was going to weigh. My guess was 8lbs 6 oz, my step-dad was guessing 7 something, and both Jake and my mom were shooting for the high 8lb range. I thought for sure they were over estimating her weight (the last ultrasound 1 week before said 8lbs and 11 oz i think) but we were ALL wrong. I could hardly believe when they put her on the scale and it said 9lbs and 3.7 ounces! They continued to do all her tests, she scored high on her Apgar test, and they did her footprints etc and then brought her to me to nurse for the first time. I don’t recall that moment super well as things were pretty overwhelming but I remember the nurse helping me and that Emersyn took to it pretty well right away and I was pleasantly surprised. I will never forgot the first time she was burped,the video is below, it is hilarious. She burps then cries, it is so cute! It is also one of my first favorite pictures because of her chubby cheeks! All of this took place in the same room I delivered in, never once did they take her out of the room which was nice.
My mom, step-dad, and Jake’s mom and step-dad were all out in the waiting room ready to meet her. Jake was keeping them updated through texts that we were doing ok and finally they were able to come in and meet her. Shortly after, Jake’s 2 brothers came by to see her also but it was almost time for visiting hours to be over. That part is a little blurry to me also, so many things were happening. I got 2 different shots, my epidural was wearing off, and they brought me dinner. I was SO hungry that day I couldn’t wait to eat but then after delivering I had to make myself eat something and I opted for the hospital food instead of having someone bring me something. I almost got sick a few times while pushing so my appetite had gone away. I was pleasantly surprised by the food though and remember having mashed potatoes and gravy, roast beef, and applesauce or vanilla pudding I think.
Visiting hours were over and everyone had left and I watched from my hospital bed as the nurse gave Emersyn her first bath and Jake watched and helped. I wanted to participate so bad but the nurse told me I must rest. I had a different nurse by then and she was very helpful, you could really tell she knew what she was doing. The plan was for me to get up, use the restroom and then take a shower before moving to the recovery room, however something was wrong with the water pressure in our room so they ended up wheeling me down to our new room (209) and taking a shower there. The first trip to the restroom and shower were supervised by my nurse which I didn’t love. I was kind of annoyed at the time because she basically turned my water off and told me I was about done but looking back I get why she did it. You are super weak after delivering and she didn’t want me in there long or standing up and passing out. So my shower was quick but it felt REALLY good. Jake slept on the fold down couch in our room and Lil Bear slept in our room most of the night. I think the nurse took her to the nursery for a little while so that I could get some sleep and came back in when it was time to nurse her. She was really good that night from what I remember, but then again we had so much help everything seemed easier at the hospital!
While I could go on and on about this day and the feelings and emotions I had, this pretty much sums up her birth story and the biggest day of my husband and I’s lives. I get teary just thinking about it all. Sometimes I wish I could relive it again, it all happens so fast and it changes your life drastically in an instant. I CAN’T even believe it was almost 3 weeks ago! We had such a great experience there at St. Lukes and while I didn’t get to experience going into labor and rushing to the hospital I’m not sure I would change anything now. I can’t help but wonder what would’ve happened had we decided not to induce that day, but we will never know. And that’s ok, because everything worked out perfectly and I got a perfect baby and had a great delivery.
You can read all the birth stories in the world, but I promise you that yours will be different. There are no black and white answers to everything and you can plan plan plan but things might not go according to plan. Every woman’s body is different. While someone had a bad experience with Pitocin or inducing, someone else didn’t. While somebody could deliver a 10 lb baby, another woman couldn’t. Every story is unique so if you are pregnant and reading this, just remember that. I spent tons of time reading other women’s stories but you will never have the same one. While it is helpful to have some insight just remember that your birth story will be unique to you. Trust your decisions and take everyone’s advice with a grain of salt when it comes to the delivery of YOUR baby.
So it’s been 3 weeks tomorrow since the birth of Emersyn. How was our first night and few weeks home? Have we adjusted and what have we been up to? That is my next topic, so be looking out for that! What questions do you have for me that you would like to know about that day and my experience? Bear with me and thanks for having patience as it took me 2 different days just to get this blog post up with caring for the little one. Today I have mastered feeding and typing at the same time! I just might be getting used to this mom stuff!
xoxo,
Lesley
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